***** Kid's logic *****
A Stanford University professor took his young son with him on a trip across the country. One day after their return, a package was delivered with postage due. Neither the professor nor his wife had the necessary $3, but their son produced it. Surprised, his mother asked how he came to have that much money. "Well," he said, "Dad was awfully careless with money on our trip and nearly always left some on the table when we ate. So I just picked it up."
--D. Elton Trueblood
RD Issue: January 1950

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* Origin: Northern Realms | tg.nrbbs.net | 289-424-5180 (1:229/664)

***** Drink up! *****
Restaurant patron: "Waiter, I'd like a bottle of wine."
Waiter: "What year, sir?"
Patron: "Well, I'd like it right now."
--Earl Wilson, Field Newspaper Syndicate
RD Issue: October 1984

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--- Binbrook, ON: Clear +7C, UV Index: 1
* Origin: Northern Realms | tg.nrbbs.net | 289-424-5180 (1:229/664)

Jay,

***** Kid's logic *****
A Stanford University professor took his young son with him on a trip across the country. One day after their return, a package was delivered with postage due. Neither the professor nor his wife had the necessary
$3, but their son produced it. Surprised, his mother asked how he came
to have that much money. "Well," he said, "Dad was awfully careless
with money on our trip and nearly always left some on the table when we ate. So I just picked it up." --D. Elton Trueblood
RD Issue: January 1950

A tip to the smartness of the kid. <G>

Daryl

... There are many internet scams; send me $20 to learn how.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.15-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)

***** Man up! *****
Three rough-looking bikers stomp into a truck stop where a grizzled old-timer is having breakfast.
One of the bikers extinguishes his cigarette in the old guy's pancakes. The second biker spits a wad of chewing tobacco into his coffee. The third biker dumps the whole plate onto the floor.
Without a word of protest, the old guy pays his bill and leaves.
"Not much of a man, was he?" says one of the bikers.
"Not much of a driver, either," says the waitress. "He just backed his truck over three motorcycles."
RD Issue: April 2008

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--- Unknown location; please try ~43.1209489,-79.8038923
* Origin: Northern Realms | tg.nrbbs.net | 289-424-5180 (1:229/664)

Jay,

"Not much of a driver, either," says the waitress. "He just backed his truck over three motorcycles."

Truly, revenge is a dish best served cold. <G>

Daryl

... I'm Droopy of Borg. You know what?? You're about to be assimilated.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.15-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)

Jay,

Restaurant patron: "Waiter, I'd like a bottle of wine."
Waiter: "What year, sir?"
Patron: "Well, I'd like it right now."

Or, when the maitre'd asks a customer "Wine, sir??".

The man starts sobbing uncontrollably, "Well, if you insist!!". <G>

Daryl

... I'm Drunk Of Borg. Resistance Is Floor Tile.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.15-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)

***** Forgive us our trespasses *****
A small boy, reciting the Lord's Prayer, ended by asking: "...and deliver us from people, amen."
--Katherine Sullivan, Columbus Citizen
RD Issue: March 1957

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--- Binbrook, ON: Partly cloudy +12C, UV Index: 1
* Origin: Northern Realms | tg.nrbbs.net | 289-424-5180 (1:229/664)

***** Ripe rejoinder *****
The young father took a seat on the bus next to an elderly man and plopped his one-year-old on his lap, just as the little boy began to cry and fidget.
"That child is spoiled, isn't he?" the old man remarked.
"No," said the dad. "They all smell this way."
--Robert Howe
RD Issue: December 2012

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--- Binbrook, ON: Partly cloudy +4C, UV Index: 1
* Origin: Northern Realms | tg.nrbbs.net | 289-424-5180 (1:229/664)

***** Amount due *****
A last-minute filer walked into our state income tax office and handed me his returns. Just as he did, a peal of laughter could be heard in another room. Glaring at me, he grumbled, "What are they doing back there, counting the money?"
--William Umberson
RD Issue: April 2015

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--- Binbrook, ON: Clear -1C, UV Index: 1
* Origin: Northern Realms | tg.nrbbs.net | 289-424-5180 (1:229/664)

***** Watch out below *****
"My son had to give up his career because of fallen arches."
"He's an athlete?"
"No--an architect."
--Orben's Comedy Fillers
RD Issue: September 1977

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* Origin: Northern Realms | tg.nrbbs.net | 289-424-5180 (1:229/664)

***** On the couch *****
When my brother began his psychiatric practice, his first patient was a particularly good-looking young woman. My brother motioned for her to lie down on the couch, but the woman hesitated until he reassured her that it was part of the therapy procedure. Once on the couch, she smoothed her dress around her legs and began to relax a bit.
"Now then," he asked, "how did your trouble begin?"
"Just like this," she said.
--Don Singer, True
RD Issue: November 1972

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--- Binbrook, ON: Clear -0C, UV Index: 1
* Origin: Northern Realms | tg.nrbbs.net | 289-424-5180 (1:229/664)

***** Man up! *****
Three rough-looking bikers stomp into a truck stop where a grizzled old-timer is having breakfast.
One of the bikers extinguishes his cigarette in the old guy's pancakes. The second biker spits a wad of chewing tobacco into his coffee. The third biker dumps the whole plate onto the floor.
Without a word of protest, the old guy pays his bill and leaves.
"Not much of a man, was he?" says one of the bikers.
"Not much of a driver, either," says the waitress. "He just backed his truck over three motorcycles."
RD Issue: April 2008

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--- Binbrook, ON: Clear +5C, UV Index: 1
* Origin: Northern Realms | tg.nrbbs.net | 289-424-5180 (1:229/664)

***** All bottled up *****
"We used to play spin the bottle when I was a kid. A girl would spin the bottle, and if the bottle pointed to you when it stopped, the girl could either kiss you or give you a nickel. By the time I was 14, I owned my own house." --Gene Perret, Classic One-Liners

I tried that game, Seven Minutes in Heaven, where two people go into a dark closet for 7 minutes; it ended up being 6 minutes of screeching from her, & a black eye for me. . .

--- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-6
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757)

... I'm Droopy of Borg. You know what?? You're about to be assimilated.

We are Dyslexic Kinkos of Borg, prepare to be Ass-laminated!

--- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-6
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757)

***** Ripe rejoinder *****
The young father took a seat on the bus next to an elderly man and plopped his
one-year-old on his lap, just as the little boy began to cry and fidget. "That child is spoiled, isn't he?" the old man remarked.
"No," said the dad. "They all smell this way."

Universal Instructions for babies:

1. Fill noisy end
2. Empty smelly end
3. Go to 1.


--- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-6
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757)

George,

... I'm Droopy of Borg. You know what?? You're about to be assimilated.

We are Dyslexic Kinkos of Borg, prepare to be Ass-laminated!

More like this tagline.

Daryl

... I'm Dyslexia of Borg. Prepare to have your @$$ laminated!!
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.15-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)

George,

I tried that game, Seven Minutes in Heaven, where two people go into a dark closet for 7 minutes; it ended up being 6 minutes of screeching
from her, & a black eye for me. . .

The only reason I came out of the closet, is because it was dark in
there. <G>

Daryl

... Flies spread disease -- keep yours zipped, please.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.15-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)

George,

Universal Instructions for babies:

1. Fill noisy end
2. Empty smelly end
3. Go to 1.

Forever and ever, Amen. :P

Hmmm...sounds like a song by Randy Travis. <G>

Seriously, it is...the video in it was from his sister's wedding.

Daryl

... Bar Exam: How much tequila you can drink before you hit the floor.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.15-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)